What I mean is that I like them right where they are…I know she’s not interested in hooking up with other guys, we see each other regularly enough (one a week or so) and when we’re together it’s nice, but there’s no feeling of exclusivity or dependency. The girl starts becoming attached to me, missing me and wanting to become more “official”.I’m not looking for that and when that starts coming up, I scale my presence in her life back considerably – I don’t want things to turn into a relationship and therefore I withdraw. I’ve pushed her away and now I’m going to lose her. my goal being that I’d like to return to “stasis” – that perfect sweet spot of comfortable company and sexual satisfaction without having to tie myself down to any relationship.Then, inevitably, the girl starts to get upset, frustrated, confused, etc. My point here: My goal is to maintain the stage before exclusivity and relationship happens. I’m clear on this and it’s practical for where I am in my life right now.This is what it takes to get to me.'" As an auto plant worker, Steve says he had to wait 90 days to receive benefits—and says the same probation period should apply to dating. They determined if I was easy to work with, if I got along well with others, if I showed up when I said I was going to show up, if I was worthy." Women, Steve says, hold the greatest benefit of all—the cookie—so there's no reason to give it away until you know your man deserves it. "Look, you cannot run us off." So what if you don't want to wait 90 days? We created the term 'gold digger' so you won't ask us for nothing.Steve says if you change the probation period, you do so at your own risk. And men are aware of the fact that you are changing the rules. We're aware of the fact that you think there's a good shortage of good men out there," he says. We created the term 'nagging' so you can quit badgering us.
Attempting to mold a man/relationship into being the relationship you want is a losing battle – progress is an illusion if you want something that he ultimately does not. Give him space to step up and be that man without manipulating, prodding, hinting, guilting or nagging him to be that man. No good relationship was ever built on the grounds of manipulation. But ultimately you won’t get the relationship you want unless you’re willing to pull the plug on a relationship that isn’t what you want.It’s strange how a smile on a picture on a dating website has led us to where we both are now. Give yourself two hours to walk, talk and enjoy each other’s company before settling down to a picnic in the middle of nowhere.We both couldn’t be happier and have smiles on our faces each and every day! There’s a new craze of the moment – private karaoke booths.While a girl could get me to put in more effort by withdrawing a bit, I am ultimately not looking for a relationship and my effort is only going to go so far. I’ve been successfully manipulated into relationships too.In the end, they’ve failed because I knew in my mind, heart and gut that it wasn’t what I wanted and as much as I tried to numb myself into wanting the relationship, I couldn’t kid myself.